PAST mercenaries: First successful Mission
by Darkon Shadows
Summary: A mercenary group captures a Space Pirate Frigrate, while doing several odd things like getting blown up, getting attacked by a crazy banana wielding pirate and other stuff.  Original Characters mostly.
1. Prelude to mission

Disclaimer: I don't own whatever will be appearing in this fan fiction other then a mass of original characters and ideas.

Prelude to the missions- The mercenaries of PAST.

"Accessing…. information found… the mercenary team from PAST is a organization of its own accord has one or more reasons for fighting against both the Galactic Federation and the Space Pirates, this organization is led by a mysterious figure Metty Primell and not much is known about her, however what is known is that she loves one of the people working for her and is said to be in a interesting relationship." The computer screen flowed into life showing a list of names for team PAST, then it stopped at a name listed as Sir Dies Allot, the image showing was of a human figure with solid bright green skin and clothes, no nose or ears and wearing a cone shaped hat, eye color black.

"First name Sir, middle name Dies and last name Allot; his last name is pronounced Al-ut and is usually mispronounced as 'a lot'; species is concerned to be human despite his appearance, special abilities are unknown and area of expertise known is information retrieval, stealing and a multitude of other things, it is said that nobody can shoot this messenger and he can somehow fake his death concerning multiple occasions were he is seen dying yet to be found still alive later, recently in past weeks Sir has managed to hack into Galactic Federation computers stealing top secret information, it is also well known that Sir has done the same to the Space Pirates, Sir is probably PASTs first agent sent into the most dangerous of situations where he is to pull what is known as the Houdini Effect and miraculously walk away from anything unscathed, weaknesses and flaws are unknown except the he is never been seen fighting." The computer scrolled down to the next file named Darkon Arters Shadows, showing two different pictures one of a normal red human eye with large optic nerve tail and eyelids attached and the second showed a focused cloud of darkness.

"First name Darkon, middle name Arters and last name Shadows; is of a dark floating ocular species, is most know for a high hatred of bovine and gryllidae based species, special abilities include control over dark matter and mystical energies to differing degrees and his area of expertise is ballistics and engineering; however, it is very well known that Darkon is mathematically challenged and yet he still is a expert in fields where math is mostly required creating a wholly unheard of paradox, his weaknesses are old soda recipes, large bodies of liquids, antimatter and for an unknown reason bovine related species, isn't considered that great a fighter unless armed with any given form of weaponry, he might be a expert starfighter pilot." The computer again scrolled down to the next that read Shooter D. Riggen, it was a four foot tall humanoid light blue dragon with bat like wings popping out of his back, with a single small curved horn coming from the top of his head, he had purple eyes.

"First name Shooter, middle name Drey and last name Riggen; some believe Shooter comes from a distant dwarf like cousin species of notorious repeatedly reincarnated high ranking Space Pirate Ridley however he is considerably more humanoid in facial appearance with the fact he has a more blunter and rounder nose then Ridley, special abilities include super armored skin and electrical field generation, had occupation as a Galactic Federation law enforcer however because of the lack of recognition for chasing down some annoying criminals quit his job to pursue a job working for Metty who ironically enough employs Darkon who is as annoying, his area of expertise is all forms of combat, the galactic federation has yet to find something that can easily pierce his armor plated skin, carries around two specially built energy repulsing razor edged shields that can be combine to created a powerful energy cabled yo-yo, it is yet unknown why Shooter favors these shields instead of actual weapons." The image on the screen shows the two round light blue shields combining back to back and then shows Shooter flinging it out connected to his hand by a beam of energy.

"These are the four main members of PAST, it said that they are currently looking for new members and their most recent actions against the GF and Space Pirates involved stealing a Space Pirate Frigate and then within a same set of time managed to steal a vast amount of data out of several of the Galactic Federations secret databases without being found out until a month later, they are to be considered dangerous and must be stopped at all cost, the bounty on these individuals is negotiable per each character and the specified bounty for information concerning the leader of the group will be paid in full." The computer moved on to other organizations and boring stuff and we move away from the computer.

Weeks earlier.

Space Pirate Frigate in space, it was in the specimens lab that the scientist were puzzling over a odd floating creature they couldn't tell what it's dark cloudy mass was made of or how it was floating, but they almost made the connection to the eye being based on a normal humans, they had found and captured this specimen on the last world they visited and it was Kizalys a frozen waste planet.

The scientist done trying to experiment on their newest test subject they left behind the shielded glass like structure and it creepily watched them go, without making a sound on the outside of his body the creature spoke to the beings inside of him.

"Okay I think they're gone, but I might still be under surveillance and Sir better get onboard soon and cause a distraction or they might try to probe my dark matter again and I can't hide you two forever." Under the mass of darkness listening to the whispering voice from all around them were two figures one of which had two arms, legs and wings, along with a decent length of a tail and a single central horn from it's forehead it was Shooter, the other figure in the middle of the surrounding mass opened her mouth to speak and direct the plan from the point their distraction made contact.

Meanwhile out in space in a high jacked horseshoe crab shaped bright green space ship was on a collision course for the Space Pirate Frigate.

"Why am I always the first one to end up on suicide missions, they always hurt like hell and couldn't someone else do my job and not have to die at the same time?" Sir Dies Allot said in a monotone voice without a hint of actually being annoyed, while aiming to slam the ship into the Space Pirates hangar hoping he didn't mess up the it's structural integrity he wanted to keep the ship intact so he wouldn't have to do all the repair work, the Space Pirates probably didn't see him coming, which was surprising considering how good the sensors on this Frigate was and the only reason why they weren't alerted to Sir's presence until it was to late to stop him was because he was flying one of their starfighters.

The whole ship was in an uproar about the crash and Darkon waited to make sure the pirates had left before enacting the second phase of the plan.

End Chapter.


	2. Mission 1

Disclaimer: still doesn't own whatever will be appearing in this fan fiction, but I at least have some ownership of myself and original characters.

Mission 1- Hamster Dance Havoc!

Mission Planner- Metty Primell.

Main Objectives: Steal Space Pirate Frigate for PASTs personal use, prevent activation of self termination system, disable self destruct system, totally clear the ship of any enemy forces and proceed with the upload of the Hamster Dance AIV (Artificially Intelligent Virus).

Secondary Objective: Piss off a lot of Space Pirates while achieving main objectives.

Optional Objective: Keeping the Frigate in entirely one piece.

Moments before Sir crashed the Space Pirate Fighter into the Frigate.

"Darkon your job is to get to any of the security rooms and upload the virus to the pirate's network it unfortunately won't be able to shut down or disable the self destruct system by itself, Sir is already on task to stop the self destruct system and is acting as our decoy so when your done uploading the virus you are to destroy any recordings of my existence and then go help Sir in his mission if he needs it; otherwise you help either of us if we call for assistance, since the virus will be in control of the defense systems we won't have much to worry about when you plant the virus and Darkon you are allowed to use halfway lethal weapons, oh and no explosives this time my love." Metty saw that Darkon visibly showed he didn't like the fact that he wouldn't be messing with the self destruct systems on this ship when his eye started twitching, Shooter had finally; after many errors on her part of letting Darkon handle previous destruct systems in other steal the ship operations, convinced Metty that letting Darkon within a light year of the self destruct system was a bad idea considering how many times Darkon had destroyed their previous chances at owning a nice intergalactic mode of transportation, they needed this ship to get the PAST organization up and running with more then the current four members.

"Fine, I'll do it Primell, but see if we ever end up snuggling later." Darkon quickly encased the two inside his dark matter and floated up to the glass like structure grumbling as the scientist came back to study him more and waiting to begin phase two of operation: Hamster Dance Havoc; the first of which was getting the three of them on board, Metty turned to Shooter; visibly saddened by Darkons words, to go over his objectives again as well.

"Shooter you're going to storm the bridge, you have to take down everyone and make sure they can't take down the virus or Darkon after he is done planting it, knowing your weaponry and skills I'm not worried about you destroying anything important, I can't believe the galactic federation wouldn't give you the time of day, then again I can't believe I actually hired you, especially after all the begging you did." Shooter just nodded affirmation to Metty.

"I'll be busy evacuating all parts of the ship personally of all Space Pirate forces and I'll be running support so I'll join you at the bridge if you run into trouble with the captain." Shooter just nodded knowing she'd only let half of the pirates leave alive and the other half he didn't seriously want to know what would happen to them.

"Okay I think they're gone, but I might still be under surveillance and Sir better get onboard soon and cause a distraction or they might try to probe my dark matter again and I can't hide you two forever." Metty and Shooter were now waiting quietly for any sign to start phase two of the plan, which is when Darkon released them after the entire ship shuttered and the red alert alarms came on that there was an intruder on board.

"Okay Shooter do you think you can bust this glass?" Metty said initiating the start of phase two; as Darkon let Shooter and Metty out of his dark matter and they dropped down.

"Bust it… who needs to bust it when you can just carve a hole in it." Shooter said arrogantly striding up to the glass wall and motioned to Darkon, who suddenly threw both his shields to him and he caught them by the edges then swung one of them sharp edge first three times at the glass which didn't appear to be touched by his attack, then he tapped a single spot and the glass fell outward leaving a curved triangular hole.

"Show off." Darkon said as he floated out and then off at high speeds to perform his job, Metty just randomly exited through another door to randomly clear out resistance and Shooter turned to the door that would lead him to the bridge.

Shooter ran down the corridor he was in and then he saw about seven of the crustacean or insect like pirates running straight towards him, then past him and then away from him, he turned around in utter confusion at having been completely ignored he whistled loudly, causing them to stop and turn around to look at Shooter.

Finding Shooter to be of no threat because of his diminutive stature, the fact that he was wielding two shields and he didn't look that physically strong at his size, they just shrugged and went to look for any real intruder completely pissing Shooter off.

"HEY! I THOUGHT SPACE PIRATES WERE POSED TO BE VICIOUS TO EVERYTHING! and I had at least hoped for some kind of action." Shooter was disheartened by the lack of respect and then continued making his way for the bridge, he oddly wondered why the security system wasn't attacking him at all and then thought it might be for the same reason, which made him all the madder.

Sir had his hands full, he could hack the self destruct if and when needed, but so far he was attracting the attention of just about every Pirate onboard the Frigate and not to mention a mass autonomous laser cannons targeting him, who'd thought that just crashing one of their own fighters into the force field protected open hangar would cause such a mess or have at least forty of them shooting at him at once, he felt kind of awkward that he hadn't been killed yet and he was doing a good job as a decoy, however if he had to shut down the self destruct system he would need free time to do so, If things went south with Darkon then he'd have to rely on Ms. Primell helping him and if she couldn't defend him while he hacked the computers, then he would have to try and do so by himself if he could find a good hiding place to hack from.

Darkon was glad that the specimens' lab was close to a security room and with little in the way of automated defenses that he had taken down easily; however he was unlucky to find two pirates were still there, but the good thing was they had yet to notice him as they were busy watching Sir run around trying to keep track of his path through out the ship, Darkon pulled out two plasma rifles held by two humanoid arms formed from dark matter.

Before the two pirates knew it, they were pumped with several bursts of plasma and left spluttering on the floor from their wounds and Darkon floated over to the console and pulled out a small flat device rectangular device from himself, then painstakingly attached it and finally hit the button on the device, starting a continuous looping music track.

The pilots on the bridge of the Frigate became confused when they lost control of their ship and a bunch of weird little furry creatures popped up on the overhead screens and started dancing with the strangest music the Space Pirates have ever heard.

The seven pirates that snubbed Shooter had become incredibly confused when the weird alien music started playing in an interestingly positive beat, the nearest intruder was in the barracks sector where there were signs of several escape pod launches with barely alive life signs inside and they were going to investigate it.

The formation the pirates where using was a two by three by two, the two pirate in the front entered the barracks and went to the far end of the barracks, while the back two waited at the entrance they just came through and the last three went around checking out rooms along the large corridor for any signs of the intruder.

Upon checking the some rooms quickly and on one random checking, the three pirates noticed something amiss in all the chaos the other four pirate that were defending the ends of the barracks were now gone, a smiling figure that enjoyed Darkon's selection of music for the virus to play descended on the three pirates and the scene goes black as the sound of crunching can be heard along with several blaster shots being fired and then a few seconds of some struggling sounds and finally some gurgling noise, a flash shows the shadow of a ominous figure in the background dripping fluids onto the floor nodding it's head to the beat of the music.

"Alright everybody now here we go, it's a brand new version of the do se do!" Shooter sang with music as he was dancing around a volley of shots being fired down the corridor at him from four different space pirates who were frantically trying to take him down, he deflected several shots back, but that only cause minor injuries as he was quickly getting closer, he started holding his right shield more in front of him and he took his left shield by it's edge and swung hard catching one pirate in the throat while deflecting several more blast from the other three who started to keep their distance from Shooter because of his obvious choice in weaponry, the pirate that Shooter just took down gurgled and with a final spasm stopped moving as it's blood bled freely from it's neck.

Shooter noticed their wariness of his shields now, but it was too late he was already in range to use his special weapon and he quickly slammed the back of his shields together and flung out the fast formed yo-yo horizontally connected to a beam of energy emitted by Shooter and it slowly sawed its way through the second space pirate that was caught by surprise and was left on the floor cut into three pieces.

Shooter quickly drew the yoyo back to himself and blocked several more shots before spinning around and flinging it out vertically slamming into the side of the third pirates head causing its aim to shift around to hit the other pirate stunning it while it itself became floored, Shooter continued on the circular arc then shifted into a overhead swing smashing the third pirates chest in with the blunt side of his yo-yo.

The fourth pirate managed to get back up to lunged at the diminutive dragon scythe first before he could return his yo-yo weapon to himself, it swung hard and Shooter grabbed it by the wrist with his right hand keeping the blade from hitting him and then it swung its other blade, Shooter released his the grip his beam had on the returning yo-yo to stop the other scythe he saw the pirates eyes boring into his; if only looks like this could kill, then its eyes went wide and then they started twitching as it fell over with the razor sharp edges of a yo-yo implanted in the back of it's skull.

"It's going to take a lot of shield polish to clean this mess off." Shooter said while tugging his yo-yo hard to get it out of the back of the pirates head and walking up to the door to the bridge, but was stopped when heard the familiar clicking sound on his earless head that stood for the small radio sitting on in his hard to see ear hole.

"Status reports everyone!" It was Metty, calling for all three of them to respond, Shooter waited to see who would respond first as he made his way to the bridge.

"Darkon here, I'm still in the security room, but we have a problem… apparently the pirates got several new mechanical monstrosities called a Revile separate from the system and they are all after me personally, I'll see what I can do with the Bio Decelerator, but from the looks of what I'm seeing here it might not be enough to stop them I'm going to need some help, also take note that they are armored and can take plasma energy pretty well." The sound of a screech is heard over the radio and several sounds of goop like substances being fire from a gun followed by a loud screech of something suddenly becoming enraged.

"Shooter, Sir, report in, I'm going to help Darkon." Metty said wanting to cover all her bases, Shooter was on his way towards a door to the next room, he opened it and ran into the next room only to receive fire from at least thirteen different Space Pirates, but because of his short size and their expectation of a taller intruder they were aiming too high when the door opened, they shifted their aim lower and Shooter held up his left shield to take the next volley of shots which started pelting him.

"I'm fine Metty and almost to the bridge, I hit a bit of a snag though so I'm going to be slightly delayed." Then the door to the bridge on the other side of the room was manually locked down.

"Scratch that, they locked down the bridges door manually and I'm under heavy fire from what I suspect to be the captain and his main fighters, but I'll be fine and it may take me a while to take the bridge, Sir we know your alive why aren't you answering?" Sir had heard Shooter while he ran around a corner and suddenly stopped running, turned around to see where all those pirates that were chasing him went.

"I'm sorry Ms. Primell, but I've been wondering why I haven't died in the past few hours, I mean I survived crashing the starfighter into this frigate, I'm being chased by at least fifty-two or more trigger happy Space Pirates and I still haven't died and for some reason their shots are all veering away instead of toward me, guys I think my luck might be turning around." Metty gasped audibly over the radio listening to what Sir said, knowing that this kind of stuff doesn't happen to him unless something big was about to happen and she was currently on her way to save her Darkon.

"Sir does something in the area your in seem out of place?" Sir started looking around when Metty asked him and all he saw was a bunch of barrels sitting on a floating dolly.

"Yeah there's a bunch of unmarked barrels sitting on a hovering platform, probably left in haste too when I crashed into the frigate, why?" Sir turned around as he heard the mass of Space Pirates had finally caught up with him and they turned the corner weapons ready to fire on the intruder, leaving everyone to hear Metty's next words before the pirates fired at Sir.

"BRACE YOURSELVES!" Metty screamed over the radio, as a single shot from the first Space Pirate that turned the corner flew slowly forward and then it curved away from Sir towards the barrels, then Sir visibly sweat dropped in slow motion and realized his luck was as bad as it has always been, if only slightly delayed.

The space pirates who were chasing Sir also sweat dropped as they knew personally what was in those barrels and that they were screwed when that shot connected.

The scene skips to far away from the side of the frigate and just as the hamster music was at it's end, that side of the frigate explodes violently and then the Hamster Dance music started all over again continuing it's loop, the explosion caused the stopped ship to start spinning in space and a good amount of fragged pirates to fly out of the large hole it created into the vacuum of space along with a small amount of green chunks of flesh floating among the dead pirates.

"DAMN IT, now I owe Darkon twenty creds and a hot meal." Shooter was standing on his feet faster then the pirates because of his small stature, he had bet that Darkon would be the first to cause a massive explosion on this mission and he was wrong, it turned out Sir's luck came into play and he lost his bet because of it, he took his rage out on one of the nearby pirates by raking the razor edge of his left shield across its chest causing the pirate to recoil in pain.

"Cut the chatter Shooter and just get into the bridge! We'll see about getting that door open, damn these things are tough." Metty had stressed the word "are" as a loud screech was heard on the other radio and he thought he could hear sounds of Darkon freaking out about something while he bashed a pirate over the head with his right shield.

Darkon was a floating one eyed creature who thought he's seen everything from a planet where creatures like him are captured in little balls to worlds where a fat weight challenged mushroom eating human can jump incredibly high in a basic normal gravity, but what he was facing now took the cake in robotic creations.

The things were called a Reviles and they got into the security room way to easily because of their strength and speed, a single Revile looked like a cross between a crustacean, a insect and a reptile and for a robot it left much to the imagination where the Space Pirates came up with such a thing.

The plasma rifles of which Darkon was carrying two had proven completely ineffective when shooting one these things, so he switched to a weapon he personally built it was called the Bio Decelerator and he hadn't quite worked out how to make the ammo replenish itself faster; considering he made it without using math it's a miracle that it works the way he intended, leaving him open to attack which thankfully his dark matter could protect him from.

The Bio Decelerator itself was a basic specially built rifle with a small green cartridge in the center that automatically refilled itself after a few seconds of disuse, it was remarkably a mostly non lethal weapon, it's perfectly non lethal against biological organisms and it was purposefully made for taking down automated defensive systems, it can fire in spread, stream or shot a green gooey substance that can slow down targets movement, it's more effective against machines because it either shorts them out or it messes up their inner workings.

Apparently the Reviles were too well built for it to effect them greatly and Darkon needed to fix the self replicating gunk so he could fire faster; the gunk itself stopped replicating when exposed to an atmosphere or open space and it becomes incredibly sticky and slightly constricting, he was quickly running out of space with several of these centaur like, crab clawed, lizard legged, insect bodied creatures advancing on him at once he was using the spread fire feature to hold them off, but it was barely even destroying the few that it had and stream mode would drain all the ammo quickly until it refilled which was too slow in his opinion so he stuck to wide blasting spread burst.

The shots had plenty of effect, but not well enough to hold them completely off as they were trying to attack him close up and personal which is a problem when you aren't carrying short range weapons.

Another jumped for him and ripped its crab claw through his dark matter causing him to flinch slightly as he felt some damage being done to his dark matters full mass, he quickly grabbed the offending Revile in his dark matter and swung it around and let go of it sending it flying into several other Reviles pushing them towards Metty who was viciously ripping through them and she stopped on several occasions to steal their power sources, noticing Darkons cramped situation she decided to personally keep them away.

The self destruct was suddenly activated to a twenty minute countdown, which started ticking down at a fast pace and Metty cursed under her breath as another Revile was brought down harshly by being torn apart.

"Sir, I hope you're alive again right now and can stop that, I'm busy helping Darkon; Darkon I need you to get the door to the bridge open using Aieev, Shooter might find a way to deactivate these things there; I'll cover you while you do this, Shooter how's it going with clearing the entrance to the bridge?" Metty was giving out these orders all the while ripping these things apart as best she could, she was currently drawing them away from Darkon so he could do his job, if he was stronger he would have been a much better help in fighting these off, but then again he was morally hopeless without a effectively good weapon, but with the right parts or amount of funds he could build just about anything and that was a good reason to keep him around and the fact that she liked him without a second thought was just another reason, her shadow moved along attracting many of the things towards herself as it was considered she made up a much more larger threat to the Reviles, they followed her.

"I've almost taken out all of these pirates guarding the bridge, you better have the door ready to open by the time I'm done here Darkon." Shooter still had quite a few Space Pirates left to take out, these were definitely the more elite pirates because they were better organized, more reactive the previous few grunts and had better weapons, they were dodging his yo-yo attacks a lot better and they were at least trying to take cover behind stuff which was rather useless when his yo-yo can curve around obstacles like over that small wall a pirate was using for cover, he pulled hard on his yo-yo and was welcomed with a sickening crunch while he was continuing to move around dodging blasts of energy and their occasional take on the grenade or missile.

Darkon was busy contacting the virus; that was constantly playing the Hamster Dance music throughout the entire ship, to open the door to the bridge and it asked if it could continue the hamster dance music and Darkon gave it affirmation it could do so, it squealed happily causing Darkon to roll his eye at having created something with the help of Sir that was both a virus and a artificial intelligence that happened to like music that gets annoying the more it's repeated, just as long as Darkon didn't show it the Banana Phone song or Chacarron then whatever conceivable sanity he had would continue to exist in its own little world and if someone; whatever omnipotent being you like to forbid, taught it to play Yellow Submarine, then Darkon might get incredibly suicidal and it wasn't like he was already for trying to take over of a entire frigate loaded with Space Pirates.

"The bulkhead is resealed and the area has atmosphere again, just as long as I'm not interfered with I can stop the countdown, by now they must have sent out an emergency distress signal; which was expected from the start, and we have to hurry this up or scrub the plan guys." Sir had managed to reach a console and instantly went to work, he was going as fast as he could to shoot down the destruct command and he was finding it hard to hack the computers on this ship and at least that would be useful if and when they managed to take the ship in some kind of good condition, he felt kind of bad for a putting a huge gaping hole in it with his bad luck and he hope that he wasn't disturbed by anything or else that hole won't be the only thing on this ship that'll be messed up.

"At least it won't be my fault this time if the plan goes nuts." Darkon commented dryly, as he was wondering what else he can do, he felt quite useless that his dark matter had no muscle strength yet had an incredibly high tensile strength unless hit with a focused attack or antimatter.

"Darkon can you start cleaning and mopping up any stragglers, while I'm busy with these Reviles?" Darkon moved out to start cleaning up the mass of dead or living pirates, while making sure his only three weapons; much to his dislike of leaving behind his favorite weapons on Kizalys along with his meager but well traveled ship, were waiting and fully ready for firing.

"Say Primell, do you think you could save a couple of Reviles for me? I want to study one for experimental reasons." Darkon pulled some Dead Pirates up into his floating mass which was starting to bloat a little.

"I believe I can do that." Since Metty was already considered knee deep in them, it wouldn't be hard to pick out a few of them to save for Darkon to tinker with.

Shooter was busy with the last pirate guarding the bridge, it was just one pirate that was reacting quickly as hell to move out of the way of a deadly yo-yo and it was more like a lizard in appearance then the other pirates, hinting at it being the leader.

He saw his fellows befall a sordid fate of sorts by such an odd weapon coming from such a small creature that would instantly classify as non lethal, there was only one other creature labeled that because of size and then subsequently relabeled because of how lethal they actually were, he tried catching it with a feint a few times and tried to claw or shoot it, but was usually deflected by the returning yo-yo.

This pirate as the captain knew better then going by appearance or size alone when it comes to fighting powerful warriors they can come in all sizes and colors, especially a light blue apparently and the shots firing from his cannon were constantly being blocked by that odd weapon and bouncing off it, not only that but the weapon which obviously was built as a defensive mechanism first considering the initial form is made up of two halves, that and could take explosive blasts quite well because of what was thrown its way without it even looking scratched.

The pirate was smart enough to not pay to much attention to the music as it had tried to close the range between it and this creature, but apparently it had a good sense of tactics as well as it was hard enough that this Ridley like thing could split the weapon back into two parts to attack him with while defending with the second part, managing to get a few scratches with his claws or a shot or two in but the creature was undoubtedly tough.

Shooter had just about had it with this pirate so he decided a quick end with a powerful attack would be the best option, Shooter dropped the yo-yo straight to the floor where it started to rapidly spin against the solid metal material without ripping it up, Shooter ducked behind the rapidly spinning yo-yo wheel preparing his attack that would literally translate as "Walking the violent dog" it was one of his most sickeningly deadly yo-yo attack, for it would completely cripple the target upon immediate success of the attack, not to mention it was for bipedal targets only and he suddenly switched the beam holding the yo-yo to his right hand and mentally focused for his attack.

The pirate continued to fire but the shields rotational speed proved to be too strong for his weapons, the yo-yo suddenly shot forward and the pirate quickly jumped to the side only for the yo-yo to change directions to meet his position, to being directly underneath him.

Shooter pulled the beam sending the yo-yo straight up towards the pirates where the lower torso would be, then he slid his left hand into the beam holding the yo-yo and split it in half causing the yo-yo at the other end of the now two beams to follow the same split by splitting the yo-yo in half and then cutting upwards and outwards through both side of the space pirate creating a quick flash of a blue V, then Shooter slammed the energy beam from his right hand back into his left recombining the shields back into a yo-yo which he pulled back to himself and easily caught.

The space pirate had slowly lost all the feeling in its entire body as its torso hit the floor, the pirate itself was barely alive as it had four bloody stumps oozing from that last attack and the last thought on the pirates mind was how it failed his duty, but he had died a proud death in battle and the blue creature walked over to look him in the eyes and then put him out of his misery, the last laugh would be on them if the self destruct sets off or the three cloaked ships nearby finally arrived.

Shooter ran over to the door and noticed it was already unlocked, therefore he went through and on the other side were three pirate grunts and he obviously must have just killed the captain because they were freaking out while arming their weapons, Shooter just smiled as he really needed a scalding hot shower now and he finally had the bridge once he knocked out those three pirates.

"This is Sir, I'm almost done and hopefully can stop it in time, is Aieev self aware yet Darkon, because I can use the help with only five minutes left." Sir was busy typing furiously trying to break the space pirates code on the computer which used a lot of different symbols that not many other people except Sir could remember or follow very well, he had a interesting ability in information gathering since he was immortal and had a photographic memory, he could change the world with information easily enough if he wanted to, if only he could change the bad luck clause that came with his immortality and it was lucky enough he even had friends that relied on him.

"Darkon here, yeah I'm sure she's self aware now and has wiped the floor with any left over pirates except in the frozen specimens and food section of the ship where there are no internal defenses, Primell is still too held up by the Reviles to…." Then Shooters voice came up as Darkon was dumping a mass of indescribable size outside an airlock.

"Not anymore, I deactivated the Reviles, now we have a captain in you Metty and can you come to the bridge while I'll go check out the frozen foods section; with Darkons help of course, since he doesn't seem to be doing anything important right now." The smugness in Shooters voice needed a kick in the ass, but Darkon would and could wait until they were in a safer environment and weren't in total danger to do so.

"I guess I have to help creator Sir then right?" A feminine voice said coming from the sections of the ship the four invaders were currently in.

"Huh, who is this?" Shooter said confused as to who the fifth person was.

"It's our artificial intelligent auto pilot who we're going to call Aieev, the virus Darkon and Sir made was for more then just taking over the pirates computer systems and it's our newest member if she survives having her body explode that is, I'm on my way to the bridge and I hope you didn't go over board on our first halfway successful mission and sorry for not warning you about her earlier, we thought if this mission is or was going to head south then it would be a moot point to even mention it and YES, FOR THE LOVE OF OUR LIVES HELP HIM AIEEV!" Metty started crawling out from under a pile of Reviles, after that she then made her way towards the bridge.

"Okay creator Sir, have you tried a quasi bypass because I have an interesting bit of information that could help you hack those systems faster." It was said in a ditzy tone by Aieev who was almost not caring whether she blew up or not, key word was almost.

Meanwhile outside the door to the frozen specimen and food section Darkon was waiting for Shooter to show up, he had a intense fear of someone coming at him with a piece of fruit and he might forget all about his defense against people armed with fruit classes in case he was ever attacked by someone actually armed with one, even though it didn't come up much anywhere in the universe it was still a possibility.

"Darkon why are you waiting out here?" It was Shooter who just asked this as he flew up to Darkon, then folded his wings back down into his back for a soft pinpoint landing outside the door.

"I'm afraid some crazy Space Pirate might come at me with a piece of fruit I don't know how to defend myself against yet." It of course was the silliest thing Shooter had ever heard and he shrugged off Darkon's fear with a wave.

"Don't they usually have scythes with blasters, I don't see one wanting to go after you with a piece of fruit and don't you have plasma rifles hidden in your dark matter?" Shooter crossed his arms and looked at Darkon, in silent agreement Darkon was about to open the door.

"Say Aieev if your not to busy please keep a scanner on me when I enter the room and turn the lights on." Without waiting for an answer Darkon opened the doorway, floated slowly inside and then turned on the lights to look around.

Shooter was watching his back, but it wasn't before long that Shooter was proven wrong about one thing, when a Space Pirate lunged out to attack Darkon's dark mass ironically enough with a simple banana and a awkward fight was started when Darkon started holding off the banana wielding pirate making sure it couldn't use the weapon in hand, Darkon quickly tried to remember what you had to do when someone came at you with a banana and it was a good thing he was up to Byangan fruits in his defense against fruits class or he might have had a problem defending himself.

Shooter idly thought that this was the weirdest thing he's probably ever seen, he didn't know what was worse the pirate scientist who tried to attack Darkon with a banana or the fact that Darkon was trying to turn the weapon on its owner.

"What was your name again? Aieev? What exactly did Sir and Darkon program you with and what is with all the Hamster Dance music?" Turning away from the fight; Shooter was looking at the ceiling where he though Aieev was in terms of scanners, this was where Darkon started punching the pirate with a fist formed from dark matter and the pirate kept trying to get Darkon with the banana as they tumbled around on the floor, Shooter was thinking about why Darkon hadn't pulled out a plasma rifle yet and then thought about how if he put a hole in the wrong place on the ship...

"Creator Sir has about three minutes left to stop the countdown and we're being approached by three cloaked enemy vessels, but sure I've got enough time to tell you about what creators Sir and Darkon programmed into me, creator Sir did most of the encoding and personality creation and creator Darkon just uploaded his information about the differences and explanations of Murphy's, Sod's and Finagle's Law, the physics of the Chaos Theory and Darkons personal Insaneology methods, however there is nothing mathematical involved in any of this information and Darkon gave me a example of why he didn't put anything resembling math there and I just happen to love the Hamster Dance." With a long sigh Aieev went back to focusing on helping Sir and recording Darkon who was just about finished with his fight, she'd be sending the fight data to "Universes most Funniest Fights" and its similar counterpart "Silliest Deaths"; if things turned out right, to make a quick buck for team PAST while she was at it; however, she had to run it by Primell first to get the okay for selling this piece of gold.

"Why didn't you try to destroy those Reviles things with the frigates defense grid weapons if you suddenly have control of them?" It was a question Shooter had to hear the answer to.

"What part of armored did you not hear Darkon say?" Aieev said in a slightly irked tone.

"Oh right, sorry I was busy at the moment bouncing off the walls literally." Shooter figured there wasn't enough room to do anything other then fly straight, so he had kept his wing usage to a limit while in such a confining space especially with poor maneuverability room, so he decided to go with basic jumping and leaping skills.

"Yes, I won the fight." Turning around Shooters eyes widened at what he saw, it was unusual and it seemed physically impossible, but somehow Darkon managed to kill a pirate; even a scientist who wears some armor as well as any other Space Pirate would, but there it lay dead in a most awkward of positions and Darkon had managed to kill it with the banana of all things and this is what caused Shooters brain to lose all form of logical explanation and thinking capacity.

"That is so going to appear on "Universes most Silliest Deaths" and I'm glad I got the footage of that." Shooter however was still in shock with his mouth wide open and right eye twitching about what exactly just happened, while Aieev was vocally shouting happily about having an award winning moment.

Meanwhile with Sir, he was closer to finishing his job of stopping the countdown and he still had a good minute and thirty seconds left when he finally managed to deactivate the self destruct system entirely.

"Guy's if the ship is cleared of all bogeys, we have control of it and if there are no other problems, I think we can call it a day and get back to Kizalys to pick up the rest of our stuff." It was then that Sir looked down at his three dead bodies lying on the floor; some parts of the ship came loose in the explosion he caused and had killed him a few times delaying his ability to swiftly hack the systems and he sighed about having to clean his bodies up.

"We're not completely out of the woods creator Sir; I am however going to set a course for Kizalys after we are safe from the three cloaked pirate ships picking up the escape pods, we still have plenty left to launch and are you thinking what I'm thinking Captain Primell?" With a smile Metty looked at the monitor as a detailed plan came up on how to lose those three pirate equivalents to a cruiser, which were pretty deadly unless you can distract them enough.

"Everyone, get any living or dead pirates loaded into the last of those escape pods ASAP we're going to leave behind a gift for them and fly towards Galactic Federation space, in what could only be described as two stones for one bird, meaning it's time for overkill." Metty was on what was now her bridge and she was taking command of her own vessel after so many trials and errors, they had managed to procure their own mode of transport and the ship was turned around and heading straight for the Galactic Federation borders.

"Okay cliché time, but you heard the lady, let's go people we haven't got a lot of time before those Space Pirates start ripping me apart." Apparently Aieev liked the idea of staying in easier to repair state then not; that and things were definitely looking up for the PAST mercenaries.

"Why do I have the feeling we won't walk away from this one without karma biting us in the rear end?" Even though it was said in an even tone, everyone figured Sir was right except Shooter who was more into a positive out look at this moment.

"If anyone should be feeling bad karma it's going to be the Galactic Federation and the Space Pirates, the GF has already imposed themselves to much on people and has lost most of their morals in taking on the pirates and the pirates themselves are self explanatory for being so bad they created their own worse enemy in the bounty hunter Samus Aran, it's about time someone kicked both their cans, oh and uh…. Aieev could you remotely launch escape pods since they're fully loaded, then please stop with the music because I think I might be getting painfully light headed and I will thank you for it many times over if you do." Shooter, Metty and Darkon sighed as the music finally quit and they all felt a bit of glee as they sent the payload of whatever was left of the Space Pirates living or dead flying off into space behind their acquired ship into the tailing cruisers like missiles.

Mission main and secondary objectives complete, with exceptions to being on the pirates' crap list and currently being chased down by three deadly combat capable cruisers.


End file.
